


how not to run a long con (or: all you need is the love of your team)

by Naladot



Category: Day6 (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:30:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naladot/pseuds/Naladot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sungjin would like everyone to remember that: He. Makes. Plans. Numerous plans. Plans A-Z. A billion contingencies." Day6 bank robbers AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how not to run a long con (or: all you need is the love of your team)

**Author's Note:**

> [Livejournal mirror](http://this-felicity.livejournal.com/31099.html). Obviously not real.

Dowoon did not—emphatically _did not_ —choose a life of crime for himself. He always attempts to establish this the first time he meets new people. He doesn’t like people to get weird ideas about him, and the truth is, thievery just kind of fell into his lap. One day he was working a regular job, and the next he was cracking open fancy safes with Wonpil. He wonders sometimes how other people end up in a life of crime, but the truth is, it’s not so bad. There are worse ways to earn a living.

He’s pretty happy with his team, generally. They bicker a lot, and Sungjin goes on this whole only-rob-the-bad-guys shtick about a year in which drives Junhyeok crazy. (Dowoon doesn’t see what the big deal is but Junhyeok claims that Sungjin is interfering with his art forgery business, making him do all this save-the-day shit, and Dowoon can’t really argue with that. But he thinks Junhyeok’s paintings are really quite nice.) Dowoon is really only good at a few things, but he’s very good at those few things, and the guys all really appreciate that he’s good at those things. Dowoon likes hearing them say “Our Dowoon, no one can pick a lock like he can” and “Have you ever seen anyone better at retrieval than our Dowoon?” So Dowoon sticks with it, even if it’s kind of uncomfortable to have to lie to his mother about his job whenever she calls.

As luck would have it, his mother calls him in the middle of a heist gone very, very, _very_ wrong.

“Hey, Mom,” Dowoon says with as much good cheer as he can muster.

“Did I just hear someone scream?”

“Oh, it’s just a movie,” Dowoon says calmly. The fire alarm starts ringing and the water sprinklers go off overhead. “Um, can I call you back when the movie is over?”

 

Sungjin would like everyone to remember that: He. Makes. Plans. Numerous plans. Plans A-Z. A billion contingencies. It is not his fault that every job they take ends in disaster. He even comes up with disaster contingency plans, not that they are much use, now.

“Oh, everything should be fine,” he says cheerfully to the bank executive next to him. Said bank executive believes Sungjin is a young and talented security consultant. Beads of sweat are forming along the collar of Sungjin’s very nice dress shirt. “It’s a new security system, so there were probably just some—bugs, you know, making it malfunction. I’ll call my tech guy.”

“Call your tech guy quickly,” the executive says with a frown. Somewhere outside, police sirens are wailing. Sungjin keeps smiling. He’s going to kill Jae.

 

“No one appreciates me,” Wonpil mutters under his breath as he dons the “tech consultant” uniform and leaves their comfortable, inconspicuous van (named “The Sundance Kid” by Jae in some obscure reference to US film that Wonpil does not care about). “Go do the tech stuff, Wonpil. Can’t you just type on a keyboard and fix everything? Can’t you be three places at once, Wonpil?”

Junhyeok’s voice floats over the earpiece Wonpil has in his ear. “Can you quit whining? Jae has already taken up half our exit time with _his_ whining, so we don’t have time for yours.”

“No time for Wonpil to whine, even,” Wonpil mutters as he shoves open the service door to the bank. A large crowd of customers have run outside, soaking wet, looking at the bank building with confusion. Wonpil sighs and enters the building. “I’ll just fix everything, then. No love for Wonpil.”

 

The plan was supposed to be a simple one. Brian likes simple plans, easy entrance and exit strategies, no messes. It should have gone like this: filthy rich dude stores an invaluable set of jewels in high-security bank. Sungjin uses his cover as security consultant to take advantage of the new management. The day the new security system is installed, Brian and Jae do what they do, infiltrate the safe while dressed as maintenance workers, and leave with the jewels and without being detected. No one is the wiser for a very long time.

Instead, Brian is currently trapped _inside_ the vault, listening to the dim sounds of chaos outside, his intercom fuzzy with static from the thick walls of the vault. Jae has one of the oversized diamonds in his hands, and he’s frowning at it.

“I mean,” Jae continues with a sigh, “I just don’t know that this is the right career for me, you know? Like, what’s the point of being a thief if no one even knows how good I am?”

Brian gives him a look. “Dude, if you’re a thief and everyone knows your name, that means you _suck_.”

“Not if it’s a code name. I want to be a legend.” Jae sighs again and tosses the diamond into the air, then catches it. “I need to leave that indelible mark, you know?”

Brian reaches over and claps Jae on the shoulder. “You’re a good thief, Jae.”

Jae takes off his glasses and Brian kindly pretends Jae doesn’t have tears in his eyes.

 

Junhyeok has been thoroughly undercover for well over two months as the wayward chaebol son of a man who’s been _dead_ for a year. He has gone to over a hundred parties. His art forgery business has suffered terribly. All so Sungjin could play Robin Hood and screw over some rich dude Junhyeok has never heard of and does not care about. But all that said, Junhyeok is _not_ going to lose.

He loosens his tie and looks around at the crowd of patrons who had run out of the bank when the fire alarm went off. It takes a minute, but he finally spots a cluster of people in official-looking outfits, standing around a youngish woman in high heels who looks like she’s about to drop dead on the spot. Junhyeok loosens his tie a little bit more.

“I’m gonna rescue you guys,” he whispers into the intercom.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Sungjin demands.

“Nothing,” Junhyeok says.

“Why do you _always_ think the best strategy is to try to seduce someone—”

Junhyeok pulls the intercom out of his ear and sidles up to terrified bank manager. Not married, he guesses, devoted to the job, freaking out if she loses it. An easy mark. Junhyeok has successfully persuaded (he doesn’t like the word “seduced,” thank you very much) all manner of people, and while he is very good at all the things he does, he might be the best at this. Persuasion, that is. Junhyeok lets his mouth slide into an easy smile.

“Any idea when all this will be cleared up?” he asks the woman.

She smiles weakly. Practically a done deal.

 

Jae feels horrible. Jae feels worse than he knew it was possible for one individual to feel. He feels like the weight of all the bad feelings in the world have coalesced into his person and are spinning a void of anguish in the place where his heart used to be. Brian doesn’t seem to notice, or understand, but Jae can’t exactly _tell him_.

The truth is, Jae is the worst thief in the world. He couldn’t even pickpocket properly if he wanted to. Sungjin was always telling him, _you gotta stay sharp in the off time_ , but Jae was trying to diversify his skill set, or whatever, which resulted in this. The worst disaster of his life. And hearing Brian affirm that he was a good thief just made Jae feel worse about the whole thing, because he’s not a good thief at all.

“I need to make a confession,” he says.

Brian gives him a look.

Jae sighs. “I didn’t turn off that motion sensor on the door before we came in.”

Brian blinks and doesn’t say anything. Then he just shrugs.

“I won’t tell the guys,” he says.

“It doesn’t matter. I need to make a career change. I’m the worst thief in the world. I don’t even deserve to be here anymore.”

 

Dowoon is waiting by the main door, the way a good security guard should, even while the sprinklers continue to rain throughout the building. Dowoon thinks he would make a good security guard, if he ever needs a new job. He knows all the things to look out for now, like not to let two maintenance guys into a building if their bags are full of all the equipment needed for breaking into a safe. This stuff should be pretty simple, Dowoon thinks.

Suddenly the sprinklers shut off, and people start coming into the building again. All of a sudden everything is chaos, police officers and bank people, but Dowoon remains dutifully in his spot.

“Hey!” Someone calls out. Dowoon looks up as some very large man comes barreling toward him. “Make a sweep of the main floor. See if anyone stayed in the building.”

He hands Dowoon a key and then rushes off. Dowoon looks at the key in his hand for a long moment. It looks like a master key. Maybe Dowoon should make a sweep of the building.

 

Wonpil has really done masterful work with this computer system. It was tricky, a really complex and intricately crafted web of security across the whole building. But Wonpil has been able to unravel that web, erase the team’s footprints, and now all that’s left to do is get that main vault open.

Just as the code reaches the right numbers, Wonpil lets out a cheer.

“Hey, guys, can you hear me?” Wonpil asks into the intercom. “You should be able to get out now.”

A moment later, Brian’s previously fuzzy voice pops back over the intercom. “Hey, yeah, Dowoon got us out! Someone gave him a key.”

Wonpil resists the urge to bang his head against the wall next to him.

 

Jae strides out of the bank with his pockets full of the diamonds they’d gone to all this trouble for.

He’d like to think this redeems him.

 

“Okay, so,” Sungjin says when they regroup at their secret headquarters. “Let’s go over what went wrong.”

He puts down his clipboard and looks around at the group. They all stare sheepishly up at him. Sungjin isn’t big on reprimanding. He likes a positive work atmosphere and a jovial demeanor from his crew. Thievery should be _fun_ , otherwise, what’s the point? The downcast faces staring up at him just make him feel lousy.

Jae opens his mouth, but Brian cuts him off. “Sometimes things just go wrong, you know?”

“It was a good plan, boss,” Junhyeok adds. “I don’t think we’ve burned any bridges, actually. The bank manager said I was ‘very charming’ so I think that counts for something.”

Sungjin decides to ignore that. He has suspicions that Jae was at fault for this particular disaster, and he could point out that Junhyeok spent half the time flirting for no purpose, but there’s also The Great Kpop Heist Debacle a year ago that was all Sungjin’s own fault, so he tries not to hold these things against them.

“Anyway, everything turned out fine,” Junhyeok continues. Dowoon nods happily next to him, and then his phone rings.

“Oh, hey mom,” Dowoon says into the phone. “Yeah, the movie was _awesome._ There was this big disaster and then the tech guy saved everything. It was amazing.”

Sungjin looks over to see Wonpil freeze, and then start to smile slowly. Dowoon grins and gives him a thumbs-up. It warms Sungjin’s heart.

“You guys are the best team,” Sungjin says happily. “I really love you guys. Let’s never stop stealing stuff together.”


End file.
